STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
