I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
