Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We need a shit load of segways right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
