We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize