He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
