How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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