so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
