That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
