Where did you get a picture of my penis
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
