Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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