dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize