fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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