Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
