i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
