Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize