it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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