My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
40s are totally the cure
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
