Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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