PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
