This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
