What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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