gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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