That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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