all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
