so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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