dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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