Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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