You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
