Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
