Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
