She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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