Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize