My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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