dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
