I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize