I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
