ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
