I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
