this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
