Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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