I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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