this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
