the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
