ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
