you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
