i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
