Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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