Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
