so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
