life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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