I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
