i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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