Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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