i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
