it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
